Some funny conversations from previous weeks to cheer me up (and hopefully you alike)

Sivan: what is the symbol for inches?
Antony: """
Sivan: """?
Antony: the two sets of inverted commas on either side were to indicate that what was in between (a pair of inverted commas) was the symbol for inches

Sivan: ever want burritos?
Antony: yes
Sivan: do you want burritos now?
Antony: hrm
Antony: could eat one
Antony: not more
Sivan: can i have the other one?
Antony: ok
Sivan: thankyou
Antony: they're yourse anyway
Sivan: they are?
Antony: well they aint mine, i aint got no boritos
Sivan: nor have i
Antony: whose are the burritos, then?
Antony: hypotheticals boritos
Sivan: they are the hypothetical burritos' burritos
Antony: a burito can't own buritos
Sivan: why not?
Antony: well hypothetical ones can I suppose
Antony: but thats like, burito slavery or something
Sivan: possibly
Antony: hypothetically
Sivan: possibly hypothetically


Cara: your hair rules
Antony: it gets pretty unruly actually


Antony: oi, stop being such a grubby little pessimist
Cara: heh
Cara: i'll always be a pessimist.
Antony: thats very pessimistic of you


Internet Girl: im into stuff that takes ur mind off reality
Antony: like crack


All About King Kong:
Antony: I don't really fancy it
Antony: and now that I've heard it's 4 HOURS LONG I fancy it even less
Internet guy: apparently theres very little dialogue, which i cant say is surprising
Antony: thats four hours I'll never see again
Internet guy: 4 hours?! fuck that
Antony: who wants to see a four hour long movie
Antony: I mean how can they even do 4 hours on king kong?
- the origins of king kong
- king kong comes to city
- king kong breaks some stuff
- king kong climbs up a skyscraper with lady in his hand
- king kong gets done in
- happy ending


Sivan: the anarchists would like this, i think
Antony: and liberals
Antony: but liberals are all talk and no action
Sivan: i'm just saying you might like to talk to them; they do a swapshop every year, 's when they act most to get people involved
Antony: they say this and that, "oh I'm a doctor, I'm a good person, I vote labour not conservative"
Sivan: haha, well, that's what liberals are like
Sivan: have you got a better alternative?
Antony: a better alternative than what?
Sivan: being liberal?
Antony: I have lots of alternatives, I'm listing them in a book
Sivan: ...that's gotta be one of the cutest things i've ever heard you say, you know


-----

Antony: right now I'm more interested in a snuggle than sex
Dave that guy: dude
Dave that guy: do not talk absolute bollocks plz !!! when a woman comes along and uve not had it in yonkies years, all u think about is pantys doooon plz 

-----

The Dark Secrets Of Chainology

Kit: you should create a religon
Ant: hrmmmm can't be bothered with the effort
Kit:but it would be a cool religon, like chainology
Ant: but it would take sooooo long
Kit:but it would be totally awesome and you'd be a millionare if it was a cult
Ant: you can form it for me
Kit: okay. one day when the moon has exploded, and we're all out floating around in space, ill invent chainology in your name and track you down
Kit: that would be awesome, it would be the firat human religon to be made in space

Ant: here, I have got a cool idea
Ant: we can tell everyone that we brought Chainology back from far in the future when scientists have proven for a fact what the one true religion is, and everyone accepts it without dispute, because it is self-evident....
.....and that one true religion is..... Chainology!!!
Kit: damn, that is so fucking genius.
Ant: GENIUS
Kit: hell yeah