Thursday 15 December 2011

Physical Punishment flyer

looking for feedback on flyer I'm designing

FRONT PAGE
 
Have you used physical punishment on your child?
No one really enjoys using physical punishment on their children1 but many of us assume because our parents used some form of physical punishment on us, such as spanking2, that this is a necessary, normal and even productive way of rearing a child. Scientific evidence3 has clearly shown that children who are physically punished even mildly:
-        Tend to have a lower IQ and are less able to reason effectively.
-        Have a poorer relationship with their parents than those who are reared non-aggressively.
-        Are more likely to resort to violence as a means of solving problems and even become chronically defiant.
-        Are more likely to smoke and twice as likely develop alcohol/drug addictions.
-        Are more likely to develop anxiety disorders and depression and show symptoms of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.
-        Are more likely to display anti-social behaviour and abuse their spouse or children later in life.

The use of aggression on the young gains immediate compliance but results in more aggressive children prone to delinquency, anti-social behaviour and crime. The consequences are dose dependent but reduce once physical punishment stops!
THERE IS HOPE FOR ALL OUR CHILDREN!

1 While many of parents justify spanking, 85% say they would rather not if there was an alternative.
2 93% of studies on spanking agree It is harmful to children. This has been called "an almost unheard of consensus"
3 A list of studies can be found here: http://board.freedomainradio.com/forums/t/32072.aspx


BACK PAGE



Alternatives:
Many people think no spanking means no discipline, however, a consistent lack of guidance is the other side of the same coin - both avoid engaging the child with reason.
There is a law against one adult using violence on another and we call it assault. When Sweden passed a law banning parents using corporal punishment most adults did not support it at first, but since then the number of youths committing crimes of theft and property damage have decreased, plus the abuse rate and rate of children going into foster care has gone down to almost zero.
Here are some good sources of information on peaceful parenting:
- www.positive-parents.org
- http://www.child-discipline-with-love.com/
- “How to talk so kids will listen and listen so kids will talk.”
  
       by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish
- “Unconditional Parenting”   by Alfie Kohn
- “Parent Effectiveness Training” by Robert Gordon

Q: Isn't spanking necessary for good behaviour?
A: Children who were not spanked were, on average, the best behaved and had the lowest rates of psychological problems. This has been referred to as "the best kept secret of American child psychology."

Q: "I was spanked and I turned out fine" doesn’t that mean it’s ok?
A: Although you probably did turn out fine smoking only kills a third of long term smokers - why take the same risk with your children? They might not be so lucky - who knows? - Perhaps you may have turned out even better were you not physically punished.

Q: As you can't reason with a 5 year old don't you need to spank them?
A: As you can reason please take account of the evidence that spanking a 5 year old does more harm than good and look into alternatives.

Monday 12 December 2011

Pedagogy

the main problem with pedagody as it stands is that the main question in force is "how do we get children to do what we want" when in fact the question should be "what do children/young people require in order to flourish and how do we provide them with a learning environemnt that provides those things?"

The present school environment typically does not do that, in fact if you look at the kinds of education that have been tried, the MOST POPULAR type is the LEAST effective.
 

Friday 9 December 2011

Egad!!! New work on Whoa There Cassanova

God, sometimes I think I love writing plays possibly more than anything else in the world! What will the characters do next? sometimes it's not even up to me!

I am totally stoked with how my work on Whoa There Cassanova turned out tonight, I really have no idea where some of this stuff comes from when I'm in a stream of consciousness. Every time I return to a work I start so slow and doggedly and feel like I have to force myself, then I get into deeper and deeper into the zone and love it so much I have to wonder why I resist working on it so hard. What fears stand in the way?


So many unexpected turns,so many moments when I think...this isn't the way I want or was expecting it to go, I don't know if I'm going to be able to include this but... fuck it - I'll write it anyway and if I don't like it I don't need to use it, I can go back and change it... many of them end up being the best parts.

I spend so much time avoiding working on things, depite the fact that when I do I enjoy it more than anything else, but then, by the same token,if I hadn't been procrastinating on it for so long it would have turned out completely different from how it is...

...and then again, on some level there's the impulse towards feeling it turns out how it is "meant to be," as though there were some platonic form of my play that I was trying to piece together like a jigsaw, rather than creating something entirely knew... even if there are errors in places or bits that I'm not too sure about, when I finally get round to changing them to something I'm satisfied with at some point I'm like... yep! that's it! now it's "right," that's how it's "meant to be" ... interesting how making art can more respemble trying to complete a jigsaw at times, bringing all your strands of thought together so they click into something cogent...

That's why I said "it's as hard for an artist to be an atheist as it is for a scientist to believe in god"
Not out of any impulse relating to a supreme being, but more the phenomenon of feeling like there's something greater than you at work.

Thursday 17 November 2011

"Off Broadway" and "Stuck in an Elevator"

Off Broadway
It was heartbreaking... seeing her come in.
I remember when we used to stalk the strees, diving down 13th avenue on the way to somewhere that would us up one last cocktail before heading home after hitting three piano bars.
Inseperable, we were in those days, two fallen agnels looking for one last thill in no time off broadway.
I remember picking her up at the academy after dance practice, her mixed cassette blaring "What a Feeling" from Flashdance out my tape deck. Cheesy, but I really didn't mind because she was elated.
Now she's deflated. Her crutches tapped upon the floor as she leant in to hug me, tears welling in her eyes Out of commission.
She really was a wonderful actress.


Stuck in an Elevator
Jay an Abigail are stuck in an elevator together. There's a slightly antagonistic feeling in the air.
Abigail. Oh my God has... has it stopped?
Jay. ...Looks like it's stopped
Abigail.  What are we going to do?
Jay. I don't know... It's stopped.
Abigail.  You're loving this, aren't you?
Jay. What? What a ridiculous thing to say. Of course I'm not loving it, it's stopped hasn't it?
Abigail.  Yes well you don't seem to be taking it very seriously.
Jay. I just don't see any point in panicking about it. I'm sure it'll start soon, look, let me press the bell. Oh look, there, see it's rung.
Abigail.  You are loving this! You're smirking
Jay (smirking). Honestly! What?
Abigail.  Urgh!I have so had it with you today!
Jay. Awww... And you're so cute when you're angry!
Abigail. URGH!!!
Jay. Come here... [trying to wrap his arms around Abigail] Come on... Come on...
Abigail. Don't touch me!
Abigail tries to ignore Jay and takes out her phone.
Jay. You not speaking to me?
Jay. Alright then. We might be here a long time though.... I guess I'll just stand over here and....
Jay seizes the phone out her hands.
Jay. ...Tap on your phone!
Abigail [reaching for the phone]. Give it back!
Jay [holding the phone on the other side of her out of reach]. You texting Rosa?
Abigail. Give it back!!!
Jay [Having read the message]. We're stuck in an elevator and I'm being a dickhead? That's not very nice.
Abigail. I hate you!!!
Abigail starts pounding on his chests, Jay just bursts out laughing until he manages to slide his arms around her back, popping the phone into her bag or pocket. Unable to win her head is partially tucked onto his chest.
Abigail [with less zest]. I hate you.
Jay. I know, I know I hate me too.... [trying to make Abigail smile and cuddle him] come on... come on.
Jay leans back and takes her hands, the phone drops to the floor as they kiss on the lips, she cuddles her head into his chest.
Jay. Still hate me?
Abigail [Smiling]. Yes.

Tuesday 15 November 2011

Counting Down The Days - totally need to turn this thread into some kind of something, a bit Chekhov

Pop on the kettle, I'm headed home.
    • VJ
      I'm sick of your insane demands



    • See this is exactly why I work late honey, I've just had enough, is it so much to ask that when I come home after a hard days work to put food on the table for you and the kids and make sure you've never wanted for anything in your life that I get a nice warm cup of tea when I get home. Jeez.

    • VJ
      I've gone apeshit and buried the tea in the garden. Why do you leave me at home all day with these precocious little brats?! I hate their accents and the way they wobble around my living room. I want to be free, FREE to dance and stick class As up my bum! Is it really so difficult for youself-important patriarchal cunts to understand a these basic female needs?




    •  Now come on darling thats completely unfair, you know I tried my best to support you getting into the academy but it's hardly my fault you had two left feet, I always warned you to practice more or at least take up singing or improv classes to broaden your skill set. As for the kids it's not my fault that you were to coked up in our former years to remember your contraceptive pill, and if they're brats it's only because you always appease them and let them get their own way because you can't be bothered to put your foot down. As for their accents it was your own caprice to leave them with that Romanian house maid, she cost an absolute fortune, but did I say a word about it? No, even when she raided the cabinet for my 35 year old single malts and topped then up with water as though I'd never notice. Horrendous woman she was.

      Yes, you made our cold, cold, desolate bed and now I'm the one who has to lie in it. We both do darling, so we might as well make the best of what we've got.

       


    • Alas I remember all to well those endless days when we were young, and innocent and in love and never had to ask anything more out of life than those eternal walks through the park in summer time, our hands clasped inseparably together.

      You used to laugh at my jokes back then, however frivolous they were. Now you just snort and make snide remarks.

      Ah to be back in those days, when you smiled that glorious smile I knew I gave you butterflies in your stomach, and the mere notion in turn gave me butterflies in mine.

      That was before you lost your looks of course. Yes, you let yourself go the moment you cleaned up trading in one vice for another. You no longer felt the need to inspire my attentions clearly, and on the rare occasion you did let me make love to you it was more like going through the motions, putting coins into a machine to keep the music playing, satisfying a basic need. No, there was no love being made then, none at all, but it was at least better than what passes between us now. How was I to guess the woman I worshipped, my sun and my moon and my very northern star, could turn out to be such a soulless, soulless, godless harpy? God forgive me for saying so.

      I've turned old, and I'm dull. I've lost whatever limited intelligence I once may have had, and what's more I'm hopeless. Not even I have hope for myself now. I'll never know
      the feeling of what it is to be alive again. Not likely.

      I'm just counting down the days now. Counting down the days.


      Finn Townsley If you had only listened to me Antony, back when we strolled the streets and the name Victoria had never even entered your mind. A free spirit you were back then, a little dove caught in the up drafts of lust and life. Intelligence and women abundant had you those days, and when the wine flowed free and the fragrant summer air rolled off the hills and made hearts leap and minds soar we would head out unto the town. Drink and dance we did, making much merriment and speaking of lofty things as we enriched the lives of those around us.

      Finn Townsley  
      But then, on that fate-full night, when your eyes locked across the room and I felt a piece of your soul go forever. Her stare captivate you my friend, and the man I knew was over come by giddy passion. "Be on your guard dear Antony," I said as we strolled lazy down the banks of the river one afternoon "for she is a pretty poison, a sweet scented devil, and I know you may for now think she is a very goddess come to earth, the Helen of our time. But be not foolish as was Agamemnon, and squander your kingdom for your bride, for there is so much promise in a spirit such as yours, and to see it drained by this harpy would truly break my heart." Ah, if I could turn back time, the things I would have shown you, but alas you were proud and reckless. You shrugged of my concern and day by day waste in front of this opiate of a woman.

        Finn Townsley  
      But now, what have you become my friend? The husk of a shell and nothing more, for if what I witnessed done to a great mind is love, then I shall have no part in it! Will this travesty ever again share in the sweet bounty of Eros, as the raven quoth, never more. But my friend there is still time, spare thy farthing from Charon's hand and trade it for an ale instead. Return to our haunts, dear Antony, although we are richer in years, neither you nor I are passed this hills crest yet. We will once again return to the lives of men with a future and goal, a life of freedom and pleasure. Spare not another thought on that harpy Victoria and return to the true companionship of a brother in arms.



Thursday 10 November 2011

Bits and pieces of creative writing

It was that one thread emerging from under the seam. That one damned thread. Pull at it and the whole garment would surely wave up all rugged. Haggard. Snap it off entirely and it would leave a subtle line a third on a inch thick held taught, so out of place in its surroundsings. So very out of place. That one damned thread.


I never noticed until I finished the cigarette I rolled with such haste to spare my hands, but my breath proffered its own tiny contribution to the thickness of the fog.


The walls will remember the times we share here. The empty space the couch left marks an eliptical eclipse in the dust. The paper, what's left of it, hangs off those bear walls in tatters, but there will be new paper soon, when we are far away, and the walls will remember.


And I'm sitting touching my brow, ouching it agains and again and no it can't be. That one silver hair I tore from my receding hairline. Sylvia said she likes grey hair. That it's charming. What does she know? She can't see my face turn red or feel my hands go clammy. One silver hair sparking off a chair reaction.


Reilly never raised his voice but his tone turned swift and daggered. His shoulders spread out wide from his chest, his eyes lain themselves bare, wide open - his pupuls dialated, two black moons the closest in their orbit to earth. Me.

Sunday 30 October 2011

Me on Writing

"I want my work to make people sane" 

"No two people can ever read the same book or watch the same play.
That is the wonder of being an artist, you are co-creating something in the mind's eye of the witness."

"Ideas aren't created, they're noticed." 

"The writer is nothing more than the first person to read it."

 "Sometimes being a writer also means being a reader"

Wednesday 26 October 2011

Snow

Last night was a success.

The Snow fell gently into the night and by the morning covered the tired pavements in a shiny fur coat, glistening and fresh. Coming home on a december Sunday, sheepish to offend its sanctity. Perfection.

The building is alive. A buzzing hive of familial affairs in the run up to Christmas, and I, in own cocoon, boil a ketle on the hob to wake me from my partial slumber. Mmm the coffee tastes bitter.

What will I write today?

Monday 24 October 2011

Feeding Squirrels

About half ten this morning I was feeding some squirrels seeds in Kelvingrove park.

They are so cute and intelligent, when they want more they stand up on their hin legs and look right into your eyes, they communicate to you with their body language. Very sweet.

One came right up to me and stepped on my shoe, the darling.
It was a touching moment.

Reminded me of how much I love the animals and nature.

Thursday 20 October 2011

Client and Hooker

"improvised" this in my writing for performance class yesterday during an exercise where you don't know where it's going - every 2 lines are meant to do what whole scene usually does. I fear it's a bit "cheesy" but then again I think here's something in it somewhere, you tell me.



CLIENT:          Uh… Nice place… What, uh, what do we do about the cash?
HOOKER:      I usually jist get them tae put it on the sideboard before we… well, ye know.
CLIENT:          Have you been… doing this for long then?
HOOKER:     
Naw, no really, jist a couple months. I need the cash tae get tests done fir ma wean, ken? Find oot who his da is and if he’s… well… awright ah suppose.
CLIENT:         
Really? That sounds important, maybe I could….
HOOKER:     
…Naw! It’s bad enough awready… bit hanks.
CLIENT:         
What? You’re too proud to accept help for your own kid?
HOOKER:     
Aye I’m tae proud, I don’t want tae feel I owe any cunt anyhin, now can we jist get awn with it.
CLIENT:         
No, I’m not sure any more, doesn’t feel right.
HOOKER:     
Right? You didnae come here tae fuckin’ church. You said you wanted tae help, now yer gonnae cheat me oot a huner quid?
CLIENT:        
You can take the money anyway, you need it more than I do, I’m off.
HOOKER:     
Ye snooty cunt ye, ye sanctimonious fuck, you dinnae gie a fuck aboot me but yer conscience ya bam. Maybe ye should go tae church.
CLIENT:         
Oi! I don’t need to take this, not from a fuckin’ whore.
HOOKER:     
Aw showin yer true colours now aren’t ye? See what ah mean? You men are aw the same, a wummins no a wummin tae you, she’s someone tae use or someone who needs savin’, no a fuckin wummin.
CLIENT:         
Look, I’m sorry for what I said. I didn’t mean it, I was just, angry that… I was just trying to help.
HOOKER:     
Well ye didnae. If ye want tae help then ye know what tae do... 


...Lets jist pretend this never happened, ok?

Wednesday 19 October 2011

My First Sonnet - Your Joy


It seemed as though all of your joy had died
The way you shut me out and built a wall
You seemed so pained I had to wonder why
I only caught a glimpse but that was all
Still I can tell you're hurt, what do you hide?
That's something I don't think I'll ever know
What do you feel? What do you keep inside?
Who are you underneath the front you show?
The only thing I found in you was me
And all I thought you were was but a dream
A ghost, a silhouette, a fantasy
You were a shadow cast upon a screen
Although I'm not sure what I sought in you
It seems somehow that I have fought for you

Tuesday 18 October 2011

Hope for us yet...

...I'm a bit sick and tired of hearing that the whole world is coming to an end so I thought I'd share some positive news.

Greening the Dessert


We Can Recycle Plastic

Homemade Solar Air Heater

The Light of Life
  
Houses made of Plastic Bottles
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-latin-america-15505130 

Tuesday 27 September 2011

fish and moose pilot

Last night Finn and I finished the first draft of our screenplay for the pilot episode of a sitcom called Fish and Moose, why not click here for the synopsis.

We went out drinking to celebrate and sent it on to friends for feedback, more news in future no doubt :-)

Monday 26 September 2011

Illich Performs Live, Great Responses

Euan and I performed as part of the Three Chord Theatre event last ngiht held at the Flying Duck in Glasgow,

Before shooting over to Ayr to do a second show at an "alternative variety show" set up by Warcry Productions taking place at Saffy's Cafe, Bar and Brasserie.

We were absolutely overwhelmed with the positive responses we got to each of the shows, people laughed all the way through and gave us fantastic compliments and we made some contacts regarding future performances.

Thankyou to Kenny Boyle and Andrew Campbell for booking us!

More to come :-)

Friday 23 September 2011

Whoa There Cassanova - Scene 1 - First Complete Draft

Coming back to unfinished writing really works! This play was kind of put on hold for a while, partly because I had so many ideas and wasn't quite sure of how to put them in the right order, partly because I didn't know what to do with the opening scene (ding ding ding!), and partly cos I'm a lazy git. 

The other day I returned to mess around with Scene 3 and some other bits and pieces and it really helped me get back into the creative mindset. When I went out I was consumed with finding the ideas to make this play work! I essentially came up with this this scene on the train home last night! Let me know one way or the other! :-)

Scene 1
A Bar.
ALICE is standing with ROSA at a cigarette machine or juke-box trying to get it to work - the bar is at the other side of the stage. ALEX is in the vicinity, he could be queuing, or just in the general area. He spots the two and judges ALICE the better looking, but part of his approach is not letting on.
ALEX - You're doing that wrong.
ALICE - Excuse me?
ALEX - You're doing that wrong, here, let me...
He fiddles with it.
ALEX - and... There you go, easy.
ROSA gapes for a second and smiles but tries to act unimpressed.
ROSA - Very good. Were you trying to be helpful or humiliating?
ALEX - Nice eyes Sparkles, where'd you score those?
ROSA - Urm my mum’s genes I guess.
ALEX - Good enough for me, you can be my walking up to the bar partner.
ROSA – Walking up to the bar partner?
ALEX - If you're up to the task that is.
ROSA – It's not exactly a demanding task.
ALEX – Well prove it then, sidekick.
ROSA – I am not a sidekick.
ALICE - I think you'll find she's my walking up to the bar partner.
ALEX - I know your game. You’re just saying that because you want me as a walking up to the bar partner. Well come on then, let's all go up to the bar, it's my round.
They begin meandering, ROSA clearly taken by his confidence and flattery, ALICE thinks he’s obnoxious but can’t fault his sense of humour (yet.)
ALICE - You're buying us drinks?
ALEX - What? No! I've just met you! It's my round at that table over there, jeez the presumptuousness of some people!
ALICE – Yeah, I see exactly what you mean.
ALEX - Hey, that’s no way to talk to your new walking up to the bar partner.
ALICE - You started it!
ALEX - Oh real mature.
ROSA is ordering.
ROSA - What you having Alice?
ALICE - Long vodka, diet.
ROSA – To BARMAN Two long vodkas please, one diet.
ALEX - So you're Alice, and she's...?
ROSA turns from the bar and puts out her hand to shake ALEXes across ALICE.
ROSA – Rosa.
ALEX – Glibly, as though this whole paragraph were one neat sentence. Nice to meet you Sparkles. TO BOTH I’ve only got five minutes then I gotta get back to my friends so make best use of me. TO ROSA You got any pets? TO BARMAN Yeah I’ll have four pints of Kroenie and two long vodkas, one diet. TO BOTH See, I’m not so bad after all.
He pays and even tips.
ALICE – That remains to be seen.
ALEX – MATTER-OF-FACTLY TO ALICE You can get me the next one.
ROSA – COMPETING FOR ATTENTION I have a budgie.
ALICE – I have a pug.
ALEX - Pugs may be cute but they’re also ugly. You ought to be careful, they say people get to looking like their pets. Get a Lab. Personally I’ve always had cats, that’s why I’m so adorable.
ALICE – A-dork-able more like. You always this cocky?
ALEX – No, sometimes I’m that cocky. Catch you later.
He walks off taking the four drinks on a tray. This is important so that he doesn’t look stupid trying to carry four pints. At some point he will meander back on with his pint to start fiddling with the cigarette machine/juke-box again – he never got a chance to get cigs or choose songs due to accompanying the girls to the bar.

ALICE – Can you believe that guy?
ROSA – Kind of. I think you’ve got a chance with him.
ALICE – A chance with him? He’s in with a chance of being strangled more like!
ROSA – Why? He’s kinda hot.
ALICE – Why don’t you go over and jump on his cock then?
ROSA – Bernard. And besides, I’m not the one he was flirting with.
ALICE – Oh, right-on “Sparkles”, that was flirting? I thought I’d just been insulted.
ROSA – Well you know what they say, treat ‘em mean to keep ‘em keen.
AICE – Well I’m not keen.
ROSA – Yeah but I think you should go back over and talk to him anyway.
ALICE – What?
ROSA – Go! Go! Go! Get some!
ALICE – But I don’t want so…[me]
ROSA – GO!
She pushes her in his direction.

ALICE – Hey I just came over because my stupid friend thought I should talk to you more. I can’t see why, you implied I look like a dog.
ALEX – Well you’re not exactly a 10 but I wouldn’t say you’re a dog!
ALICE – Oh for fucks sake!
ALEX – laughing at her reaction Hey chill out, I’m just kidding. If it makes you feel any better people don’t make fun of people they don’t like. Well, not to their faces anyway. I was just thinking of heading actually, my idiot friends have resigned themselves to a night of playing Who Wants to be a Millionaire, you coming?
ALICE – What? Just like that? I don’t think so…
ALEX - Alright then see you later.
He makes to leave.
ALICE - What? Wait…
She stumbles off after him.



Scene 2
They are traversing the stage which is a street.
ALEX – So what superhero powers do you have?
ALICE - I can do a rubix cube?
ALEX - Yeah? In how long?
ALICE - Ummmm..... Um... I could do it in under a minute at school?
ALEX – Could you do it in any shorter than it took you to answer the question there?
ALICE – No probably not.
ALEX - I know someone who can. His record is 3.75 seconds.
ALICE - How? I don't understand it. I've seen videos of people doing it and I still don't understand it.
ALEX - Algorithms. Do you use algorithms?
ALICE – No.
ALEX – That’s a shame, I was just seeing if you were capable of joining my superhero society for people with superpowers, but you don’t do algorithms.
ALICE – Algorithms are a superpower?
ALEX - Superpower? What are you taking about? I don't have a superpower. No one does.

ALEX freezes. ALICE turns as ROSA walks on to the very side of the stage.
Alternatively this can be done as a voice-over or by other means, Directors call.
In Alice’s head:
ROSA – See? He's so into his daytime persona that he won't even admit what his super-power is. A regular Clark Kent!
ALICE – I’ve got a pretty good idea it’s x-ray vision judging by the way he looked at my chest. Which reminds me…
The scene resumes where it left off:

ALICE – I should probably call Rosa to tell her where I am and where I’m going.
She taps her cleavage for her phone. As she does:
ALEX – Sparkles?
ALICE – Oh shit! Shit Shit Shit! Fuck! I left my phone and my purse in her bag! Fuck!
ALEX – Hey don’t worry about it, here, use mine.
ALICE – It’s not that, I’m diabetic. I need to get something to eat on the way home to manage my insulin.
ALEX – Shit let’s stop here then, I’ll get you something, what do you need? Should I call you a cab?
ALICE – No, no, I’ll be fine, it’s just…
Said as though meaning: “I can’t believe I forgot”:
ALICE - Shit!

Thursday 22 September 2011

100 word story - 1

I brought out the best in you and you the worst in me!

Well you always liked it when I acted cocky and aloof, didn’t you? You seemed to find it sexy.

I found you most attractive when you showed your virtuous side by doing something sweet. A smile would creep across my face and a sigh wrapped itself around my heart.

So I’d appeal to you by appearing the perfect saint, and you’d appeal to me by acting sexy and aloof, and we could never find the right meeting of hearts.

Funny that, isn’t it?

--------


This submitted to the 100 Word Story Competition at Readers Digest
Thinking of submitting another one.

Wednesday 21 September 2011

I want my work to make people more sane

that sounds like something that could go on my epitaph.

as well as these new philosophic quotes I recently coined: "sometimes being a writer also means being a reader" and "ideas aren't created, they're noticed"

I note that the submission deadline for Stag Nights 2011, a yearly theatre festival showcasing new theatre from Glasgow Uni students over three nights, is fast approaching, in fact it's in two weeks.

And I have nothing new finished! Argh!

I have four plays in progress: Whoa There Cassanova, Robin, Like The Greeks and The Melody

I'm going to edit this later and give brief descriptions of each of them.

but none are that near completion.

I'd like to submit Like The Greeks most of all but it's a tough one to finish. Today I've mostly been working on Whoa There Cassanova and it's been coming on well, more news soon.

Sunday 4 September 2011

No Alternative? See Iceland.

"Millions of lives have been severely affected because of the claim that there was ‘no alternative’ to bailing out the banks that caused the economic crisis. But the people of Iceland have shown that this is nonsense. 
You would have heard a great deal about Iceland in 2008 when its banking system suffered a monumental and extraordinary collapse. Relative to the size of the Icelandic economy it was the biggest banking crash in economic history.

You hear very little about Iceland today because of the way its population of 320,000 dealt with the enormous challenges they were suddenly facing. There is nothing more dangerous to ‘no alternative’ than another alternative that works … the threat of a good example.
Don’t mention Iceland - Shhhhhh!

Today, just three years later, Iceland’s economy is recovering from the biggest comparative banking collapse in history because … they didn’t bail out the banks - they let them fail. Those who caused the problem took the consequences. This was the result of the Icelandic people refusing to take the hit for the mess the banks had created.

It was not the Icelandic people who chose to invest in the seriously dodgy foreign investor accounts promoted by Iceland’s private banks offering a better rate of return - it was the overseas investors. Why should those who didn’t own the banks repay the losses of private owners and investors in those banks? That was the stance of the Icelandic people and they were not budging."
- More or less as it appeared here

Thursday 25 August 2011

Ok cool so here are some guidelines on reviewing I was handed and endow upon you for posterity, they have served me well: - Write in the present tense so much as possible, it makes for a more engagin read

- Avoid the use of "I" <- it's a strange one because we all have egos but it does serve a purpose, there are rare occasions where it's acceptable. Some sites liek BroadwayBaby have reviewers that always use it and they seem less professional. It's a bit silly on one level but that's how it goes.
- Personally I find having a "tack" or and angle to come at it from really helpful, some kind of overarching umbrella that eveything fits into - 200-500 words, but closer to 200 is better that closer to 500, that's the skinny policy because apparently people don't read longer articles online they will stop halfway through, I used to always write nearer to 500 first but I've become more economical over the fringe, partly because I had to becasue I'm seeing so much and partly because I've learned to say what I need to say quicker I see 240-300 as ideal really
- read reviews! It really helps to see how other people are writing to see if you like it or not or if the way they are writing is good what makes it good, if bad, what makes it bad. But in the end it's about finding your own voice.

The Rules of Engagement:
- be polite to everyone, I know you'll have no problems with this
- Don't discuss the show with anyone in the venue or in ear shot of the venue
- Don't discuss shows publically (such as on facebook) until your review is up online, we each have varying levels of how comfortable we are with talking about stuff to close people like pals who might ask before it goes up. Gareth will almost never do it except with us, I've been known not to do it as well but during the year we don't have the writers privelages to put stuff up directly so it can take a while, we're working on trying to come to a compromise to sort that out.

I will subedit your articles before putitng them on the network, not much gets changed but I find having Gareth edit my work helps so hopefully you'll feel the same. Also if you want any mentoring in that process I will offer you feedback, only because I felt I didn't get enough when I started writing as a critic, I always felt out in the cold working on my own a bit so it's up to you, I don't consider myself an expert writer or anything but everyone has something valuable to say.

Superfun!




* insulting to very poor
** poor to average
*** above average to really very good
**** very good to excellent
***** life changing

Checkout my review of Legally Blonde - The Musical at The Kings

Review::: Legally Blonde - The Musical

Saturday 20 August 2011

Illich - The High Brow Sketch Show (Episode 10)


Performed by Illich, recorded and engineered by Jono at the Soular Power Suite

Time is my road

Time is my road,
The world is my chariot
Always I'm seeking
but Never to find,
Should I arrive,
I'll soon be departed
May god leave me wander,
the rest of my life

May god leave me wander,
the rest of my life

Thursday 18 August 2011

Selfish Gene - The Evolution and Philosophy behind the World's first Biomusical!

The Selfish Gene nears the end of its run here at Zoo Roxy, but I don’t believe it will be the last we hear of this new and innovative work of musical theatre. For posterity I caught up with the creative team, Jonathan Salway (writer), Dino Kazamia (director/co-writer) and Richard Macklin (composer) to find out what it’s all about, and put the world to right.

Part I – The Evolution of the Selfish Gene

Antony: “First off, so how did you guys come to collaborate?”
 Jonathan: "We met at Eastbourne College. I came in as a freelance drama teacher and these two guys were very active in the drama department, Dino with the acting and Richard had done some incidental music originally that was just spot on, he could see a scene and get the music."
Dino: "We were studying but we tended to work more on our own projects."
Jonathan: "In fact I'd had the idea for the musical before seeing Dino and Richard do their own show."
Dino: "We'd worked with Jon before when we did an adaptation of The Picture of Dorian Gray. Richard did the music, I acted and Jon directed it. We knew we wanted to do a bigger project. Richard and I wrote a musical, almost a comedy pastiche of musical theatre…"
Richard: "Gently mocking the whole genre."
Dino: "It turned out we were actually quite enjoying it as a musical. We put it on with students and that went down quite well. Then we got Jon in…"
Jon: "…to help a bit with the directing and I thought - ah, just a minute, we have to do this again sometime on a bigger scale."

Antony: “The Selfish Gene musical explores the themes raised by Dawkins’ book using an analogy of the nuclear family. Can you comment on how that idea came about?”
Jon: "It was quite early on. I'd read the book, it just seemed to raise some fascinating questions. I said to Dino we should turn this into a musical, but it will sound like a lecture if we don't have a narrative, so that's what we chose."
Dino: "With a nuclear family you can cover so many dynamics. The Married Couple, parenthood, adults and younger people as well. It opens up all the doors as well as playing into the fun clichés we jumped upon."

Antony: "How did the music and lyrics come together?"
Richard: "John and Dino wrote the lyrics having read the book, identified the bits they wanted to turn into musical numbers and then sent them over to me, I fashioned them into songs."
Dino: "It was mostly Jon early on, wrote them in straight onto the page without knowing what the music was going to be like. The when Richard came on board he adapted them."
Jon: "I think initially I wasn't putting much rhythm into them,"
Dino: "As time went on the more emotional songs we could almost give to Richard and say, this is the kind of thing that needs to be said."

Antony: “So the relationship developed into more of a dialogue?”
Dino: “Yeah, you could say it evolved.”
Everyone laughs.

Antony: "I loved the verbosity of the lyrics, and the fact that despite the wordiness they weren’t alienating, you understood what you were hearing"
Jon: "I didn't want it to sound like a lecture. So we developed a genetic” stumbling over his words “Sorry generic biologist” everyone laughs “Professor character as a sort of narrator.”
Antony: “I like it, I’m going to use that.”
Dino: "It was more a sort of Greek chorus that comments on the action and question rather than explaining what is happening.”

Antony: “I felt like you were born to play that part. Did you always know you were going to play him yourself Jon?”
Jon: “ummm….”
Dino: “I knew.”
Antony: “When did you know for sure you wanted to play him?”
Dino: “I’m not sure that you wanted to. I decided…”
Jon: “I suppose when I… um… Dino persuaded me. Also I wanted to use quite a young cast on it and thought…”
Dino: “We had to have someone who knew the thing well. Like you said he was born to play the part, he looked right, I knew he could play that kind of role.”
Jon: “And fortunately I didn’t have to have my hair cut.”
Laughs.

Part II – Putting the World to Right

Antony: “Onto more philosophical questions! In the play even altruism is presented as selfish. ‘Well you have the inclination to protect her, because you share genes…’ What are your positions on that theory?”
laughs
Dino: “Well… it’s a difficult question, but one thing I have learned from the book is that though it is possible to reduce our altruism to biological terms, there could be a form of true altruism that we as conscious being can achieve, but that is only through rejecting the selfish gene motivations, the base desires that drive us. Humans have a certain morality that we have evolved.”
Jon: “Dawkins says in his book that in the gene view of the world altruistic acts can result from selfish-gene motivations.”

Antony: “In philosophy, the theory that everything you do is necessarily selfish is termed psychological egotism. The problem is that you can always reinterpret motives. Say I do something kind for Dino, and Rich says ‘That was just to endear yourself to Dino, or make you feel good about yourself.’ Freud has been criticised for finding sex in everything, similarly I could say that everything you do is motivated by wanting to be a gardener Jon, and when you brought over this glass of water before the interview it was symbolic of you wanting to water the plants.”
Laughs.
Jon: “That’s very true and people will probably argue that Dawkins starts his book with this theory and you can make everything squeeze into it. But never do I feel the book in cynically saying ‘that’s just selfish that you’re being altruistic.’ “
Dino: “He’s even coined the term meme as a suggestion for mankind to take up in opposition to being self-seeking.”
(A meme [pronounced: meem] is defined as cultural item that is transmitted by repetition in a manner analogous to the biological transmission of genes. So for example a political ideology, religious belief, artistic concept or general viewpoint.)

Antony: “To Richard - is love just a genetic calculation?
Richard: “You can probably trace everything back to that but we’ve also developed certain genetic overrides and you could argue that love is one of them.”
Antony: “Interesting, love could be a meme rather than gene-motivated.”
Jon: “I don’t know if Dawkins says that, he suggests psychological faculties evolved as sensors so you could be predicting this and love was one of those to hook you in, but then that brain that was evolved through those emotions and then became mimetic.”
Dino: “Love tends to make people behave very irrationally and not necessarily in a biologically sensible way so as for it being a selfish gene, it does seem to go against…”
Antony: “It could be a combination. “
Dino: “Yeah.”

Antony: “In general the idea of being motivated by genes, and even memes to an extent, goes against our ideas of agency. So next philosophical question; do we have any free will or only the illusion of free will?”
Everyone Laughs.
Antony: “Any takers?”
Dino: “Well that’s kind of getting into your definitions of free will…”
Jon: “We steered back from that one… because I’m not sure that’s ever an issue that Dawkins addresses. We do imply at the end that we can make our own choices and decisions.”
Dino: “Free will implies more than one will battling against each other. I don’t believe there is another will, although our genes may be trying to survive it’s not a conscious thing.”
Antony: “It’s programmed.”
Dino: “Even programmed implies a programmer, we don’t really have the language to put it across.”
Antony: “There’s no purpose without a purposer as my 2nd year philosophy tutor put it.”
Dino: “Exactly.”
Jon: “But we do make decisions against our selfish gene, such as contraception! Maybe we can include something about that in a future incarnation of the show.”

Antony: “Ultimately your show is very life affirming because in the end you bad guy gets a shock, his selfishness has turned his life upside down and has to rethink his strategy. They tyranny of the selfish genes gives way to the possibilities offered by memes.”

Jon: “If you’re going to play the game once you’re probably better off cheating. But long term you’re better off cooperating.”
Dino: “If you cheat you win more, each only wins a little bit when you cooperate, but if you always cheat everyone will constantly defect and everyone will lose.”
Jon: “Overall nice guys finish first.”
fin

Wednesday 17 August 2011

A Little Perpective

Highest estimated cost of riots: £100m.

Total MP expenses bill (2007): £87.6m
Tax spent on Libyan intervention: £1 Billion
Tax money spent in Iraqi conflict: £4.5 billion
Tax money spent on Afghan conflict (up until 2007): £7 billion

Tax payers bill for banking crisis: £131 Billion
Tax Avoidance by Vodafone: £6 Billion
Tax avoidance in 2010 by richest people in UK: £7 Billion
Perspective: priceless.

Tuesday 16 August 2011

In print in the Shimmy Skinny today!

My feature on Muscial Theatre was printed in the Shimmy Skinny today so hopefully people all over Edinburgh will be checking it out over a cup of coffee :-D you can catch it online here:

MUSICAL THEATRE

the idea for this feature was actually originally birthed on the 27th of June - I even wrote  a blog about it you can read it here.

Monday 15 August 2011

Illich Sketch Show @ Pilot 4 during Edinburgh Fringe

So the Illich Sketch Show was performed live for the first time in the history of the world, ever, ever last night at the Flatrate event, Pilot 4.

Euan Sinclair had this to say on the matter:
"Our first live show was every bit as chaotic as you'd imagine, but Illich went down well with that Edinburger lot. And we performed a new sketch - written three days' previous - that we intend to inflict upon YOU!! ILLICH Hath Spoken."


My brother Jono drove us down from Glasgow and kicked around, even made a cameo appearance as Illich character Mad Dog MacGraw and friends Finn Townsley, Adrianna Polito, and others turned out to support. Yay.

The 10th installment of Illich will be up on youtube shortly. Exciting stuff.

Friday 29 July 2011

Immaculate by Oliver Lansley (Rekindle Theatre) Review


Mia (Amiera Darwish) is pregnant, to the best of her memory hasn’t slept with anyone in six months, and now the Arch Angel Gabriel is knocking on her door claiming her unborn child as the second coming. As though the shock of finding out that she has quite possibly been nonced by the big man isn’t enough: Satan also appears to claim her babe as the anti-Christ, her ex is hanging about the house calling her a whore, her best friend has a guilty conscience and a confession to make, and worst of all she’s slept with the biggest geek in the world: Gary Goodman.
Rekindle Theatre breathe new life into Oliver Lansley’s 2006 piece (originally premiered at the Gilded Balloon, Edinburgh) with a stand out performance by Laurie Brown as a campish Gabriel harbouring a temper, constantly finding himself on the defensive as he God’s apologist, at one point even getting chased around the room by a whip-brandishing Mia in a dominatrix outfit. Samuel Keefe and Simon Donaldson also pull out skilled contrasting performances as Gary Goodman and Lucifer respectively.
The kinetics of the piece flow excellently (director Bill Wright’s credit) creating a vivid atmosphere, characters sometimes miming in the background of scenes, at others unceremoniously shunted aside to watch agape by the more dauntless. Tastefully selected music fortifies key moments and we’re even treated to some lively choreography as the cast buffoonishly “show us what they got” to Destiny’s Child’s Bootlicious, one of many hilarious scenes. Another favourite is Rebecca (Saria Steyl) gushing out her narcissistic concern that her own dishonesty will lead inescapably to the loss of her best friend, Mia, and her new boyfriend, Michael, all in one fell swoop.
It’s not a perfect rendering. There are some awkward character dynamics, for example the relationship between Mia and her ex Michael, is more mother-to-spoilt-child than lover-to-ex-lover so any unresolved chemistry between them is hard to imagine, although they sink into it more as the play progresses. There is also a degree of overplaying, which could alternatively be countenanced as intrinsic to absurd nature of the melodrama depending on one’s taste for realism. The spirit of some cut scenes, in which the cast verse narrations in ominous unison while wearing spooky masks, takes some time to develop. At first we’re not sure whether it’s meant to be funny or serious (if funny: not demonstratively enough, if serious: downright cheesy) but the form soon establishes itself and grows on us.
Overall the production is extremely enjoyable and well received.

Illich - The High Brow Sketch Show (Episode 9) Featuring Osho and Anthony deMello

oh yes, what's that old turn of phrase? destroy your heroes?




Performed by Illich, recorded and engineered by Jono at the Soular Power Suite

Tuesday 26 July 2011

Working Class Aesthetics – the Pitmen Painters

The Glasgow Theatre Royal has the privilege of hosting Live Theatre Newcastle and The National Theatre in a production of Pitmen Painters, written by Lee Hall, featuring much of the original 2007 cast. The play centres around The Ashington Group, a society largely composed of miners who, under the Workers Educational Association, turned their eyes to art appreciation after seven years of evening classes in other subjects, and got hooked.
Inherently political, but spiced with eager witticisms which temper and dissolve any air of the soap-box, the play explores the relationship between art and class. Not only the idea that pursuit of art is the preserve of the rich, but also that one need to speak a “certain language” in order to enter into a dialogue on culture. The characters are vivid, each providing an opportunity to approach the aesthetic questions raised by the plot from their own points of view which develop into maturity as they, themselves progress.
The integration of the great questions of the philosophy of art is a great success. The Pitmen Painters are used to non-arbitrary answers, hard facts, and are rather disappointed at first when their tutor informs them that those are few when it comes to art. Struggling with the tensions between the abstract and concrete, the significance of feelings, and meaning as internal to the observer, they are entreated to being painting that they may understand from the inside. In doing for themselves they find great fulfilment, understanding, transcendence of their class – in being their own bosses, and a deep appreciation of what makes art and the meaning of being an artist.
The play takes an unexpected yet welcome turn from the critical to the sentimental in the second act. The spirit of the play is allowed to evolve. Having dealt with the outer dilemmas of philosophical inquiry, our attention turns to dilemmas most inner, self-identity and affiliation.
                Raucous sound effects mark scene changes rather intrusively, abd sadly things take a turn for the worse just before the end. The tangible drama of the penultimate scene is cut short and trivialised by a burst of loud music which plays over the stage dress into a final scene which heartbreakingly fails to coalesce into a satisfactory resolution. Jimmy Floyd’s politicised speach on the Pitman Painters creating and appreciating art in tribute to all the other working class people who cannot, falls short of delivering a warming conclusion that we may carry with us out of the auditorium. We feel suddenly harkened back to the spirit of the first act through trodden ground to an anti-climax.
Nonetheless, the production of a play so deeply involved in philosophy which remains so consistently insightful and entertaining at the same time, is no mean feat. The Pitmen Painters is a jewel of theatre: inspiring to the art-lover, animating to the philosopher, enlivening to the humanist, and beyond that charming to witness.



See another good review of Pitman Painters by Rachel Cooke of the Guaridan here

Saturday 23 July 2011

Scottish Government's new policy on tackling knife crime is an idiotic waste of money.

The Scottish Government's new policy specifies that anyone carrying a knife will automatically go to jail for 1-4 years:
1) This does not address social factors that create knife crime.
2) This insane policy will cost £40,000+ per offender, per year (up to £160,000)
(http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2008/jul/28/justice.prisonsandprobation)
For that kind of money they could be tackling the social factors that create the conditions for knife crime.
3) This will put impressionable youngsters behind bars where they will be exposed to the company of hardened violent criminals to learn bad habits and make contacts before going back out into society. It will not work to rehabilitate the offenders at all.
4) Jail is not a deterrant to knife crime (http://www.channel4.com/news/a​uthorities-not-doing-enough-to​-prevent-more-knife-deaths)
5) This is knee jerk posturing which no one will oppose because the don't want to look soft on crime. The policy is intellectually bankrupt and creates more problems than it solves.

I emailed my MSP for all the good it will do,
You can do the same: www.writetothem.com

Friday 22 July 2011

Pilot 3 (a Flatrate production)

I had the pleasure of appearing as Ben E. Sharpe (one of our reoccuring characters on the Illich Sketch Show) at Pilot, "An Open-Mic Night. But loads of them. All at once. All mixed up into a lovely Podcast and available to download from the internet." It was arranged by Flatrate and hosted at the Centre for Contemporary Arts, Sauchihall Street, Glasgow.


It was really fun basically I was to make improvised business consultations in character with anyone who fancied ceasing the opporuntiy (my friends Finn, Suzy and Randolph who came along had a shot), there were some really funny unexpected moments. Links to the podcast will go up when the news comes through, and some of the extra material will be used on the Illich youtube channel which is really cool.

There were some really great comic acts there including Chloe Philip (stories of funny experiences in the states, shoplifting and institutionalised racism) Martin Bearne (an extended list of punchlines) Geoff Gawler (whom I shared an enjoyable a highly amusing improvised interview with where he posed some left of field questions as an ABC Austrailia reporter) Eleanor Morton (ukulele-driven musical comedy.)

The next Pilot will be held on the 14th of August at as part of the Edinburgh Fringe.
Colin Chaloner of Flatrate also proposed that Illich is reprisented at this event which is really flattering, so we will definately be looking into preparing something for it.

Now, back to Blade Runner.