A harrowed businessman once came into his therapists’ office
after being bothered again and again by a reoccurring dream. Even although he’d been
under analysis for a couple of months he couldn’t really tell you that he’d fully
engaged with the treatment if he was to be honest. Deep down he was convinced that
even seeing a shrink was a load of old baloney that couldn’t really help him
with any matters pertaining to the real world, but it was a good opportunity to
vent his spleen to someone who would have to listen and give his undivided
attention, because he was being paid to. Meanwhile his life was crashing in
around him, and getting progressively worse, which only went to prove that
psychoanalysis was dated nonsense believed only by socialist professors in
ivory towers who had never even seen the reality of the rat race first hand.
“You think I got problems, Doc? Let me tell you, even my
ulcers got ulcers! My business is about to hit the rocks, my wife has insisted
on separation and won’t even take my calls! Soon I’ll be getting the divorce
papers through, heck that’s all I need! If I can’t get the cash together, and
soon, I’m going to have to declare bankruptcy and lose the house to boot! I swear
to god I’ll end up in hospital with another bypass. ‘Course I got problems.
What do you expect me to do?”
This dream, however… he found it so irksome to be bothered by it night after night that he found himself turning up with a new willingness to do just about whatever his Freudian friend might ask of him. The hell with it, he didn’t have that much further to fall after all.
“I’m interested in knowing how often you’ve been having this dream? Or variations on the same dream?”
“It’s the same dream Doc! And I have it every night! Almost every night without fail! The only night I think I didn’t have it was when I was staying over at my mistress’ place. Does that mean anything?”
“Hm, I don’t know. How is your relationship with your girlfriend these days? Better than with your wife I assume?” he added with a sardonic smile befitting an analyst.
“I dunno to be honest. I just don’t think I excite her the way I used to, if you know what I mean. It’s ok I guess. Just no real verve.”
“I see, and is there anything else going on? It seems there’s a little something else playing on your mind, maybe you could let me in on the full story.”
“What, are you a mind reader? Ok, I just keep on thinking about how unfair all this is on my son. He’s only 8 years old and he deserves a good father. With a good strong marriage, and a good strong business to go into. Or at least sell it if he likes. I want to be able to give him an education, you know? Everything I went without. He’s the innocent victim here that’s what really gets to me.”
“I understand. You feel bad for yourself, but you can handle that because so far as you see it you’re the one who made the mess. Same goes for your wife, she’s an adult woman after all. It’s your son you feel worried about because he didn’t have any hand in creating these problems. Right?”
“Yeah! Right! Exactly! You know what Doc? You ain’t too bad! What about my dream though?”
“I’m just coming to that. Let’s go over it again. You keep seeing these little symbols, almost like items in a computer game. One is a small pot of gold. One two short pieces of string. Then there are two hands, one thumb up, the other thumb down. There is also a broken walking stick with a snake for a head, an old, discarded baseball bat and ball, and an olive branch with only one olive and three leaves on it. Is that right?”
“You got it Doc! Can’t make heads or tails of it neither. What do you say?”
“Now look, usually I’d interpret the dream for you, but I want to take a different approach, let me know what you think…”
“So you ain’t gonna make sense of it at all?”
“I think this will be much more effective.”
“Lay it on me.”
“I’m going to write you a doctor’s note and I want you to cut your work hours down to a minimum this week. Especially Monday through Wednesday. Only take absolutely essential calls. Delegate everything else to your secretary, get another one if you have to. I want you to spend time at home, and I want you to spend as much as you can doing the following exercises, here write this down.” The doctor scrambled to hand him a pen and notepad.
“Monday: I want you to visualise at least three big pots of gold, spend as much of the day as you can recreating the dream in your head but this time with these great big pots of gold instead of the tiny one you originally saw.
Tuesday: I want you to keep seeing the dream as much as you can, all day, but replace the two short bits of string with a big long braid that stretches on into the distance. If you see gold also, make sure it’s still great big pots and not the small one you saw at first, and I want you to continue in this fashion.
On Wednesday, I want you to see two hands shaking.
On Thursday I want you to see that walking stick good as new, in fact turn it into some fancy diamond-encrusted sceptre if you want, go nuts.
On Friday I’d like you to picture a full-sized baseball field, with lots of enthusiastic people playing on it and having a great time.
Finally on Saturday, spend the day visualising a great big thriving olive tree. Then on Sunday you can come back in and tell me how you got on.”
“Doc, you gotta be kidding me! I need your help here! Can’t you see my life is falling apart? How is cutting work to think of cute pictures gonna solve me any problems? I gotta work hard at this. Cut me some slack! All I want to know is what this crazy dream is all about, and you want me to sit back and do nothing but think of cartoons?”
“Listen, this is serious work, I want you to give it a real shot. Don’t deny yourself any important leisure activities, but spend as much time as possible doing as I’ve asked you. If you try this out and it doesn’t work then next week we can take a more active approach. But I want you to give it your everything. Agreed?”
“Alright I’ll give it a shot, but I got to tell you, I’m pretty sceptical.”
“Put your scepticism aside for me, just for this week. I want you to engage with the process fully. Don’t let either of us down now.”
“Alright, alright already! Jeez you sound just like my mother. I’ll see you next week, ma.”
“See you next week.”
And with that the business man left.
A week later he returned to therapy, visibly glowing. He looked five if not ten years younger and there was a slight spring in his step as he entered the office.
“Doc, I don't know what you've done or how you’ve done it but I really gotta hand it to ya, things are changing in my life big time! I did what you said and didn’t go into the office until Thursday, just worked from home, then I got the important phone call and I'm just about to sign this great deal with another company. This could really save my ass! I spoke to my wife on Wednesday night and she’s called off the divorce, we're actually speaking to each other properly for the first time in years and she wants to work things out. I was even going to lose my mistress, but I took her out Friday night and the sex was so incredible I didn't have the heart to break it off in the morning. I checked my blood pressure today and it’s all back in the green zone. But best of all, you gotta hear this! Yesterday, instead of going out to playing golf with my buddies, I played my son at baseball. I was inspired by the big pitch that cropped up in my dream. Like in the movie, huh? ‘If you build it they will come’? Did I mention that? That everything in the dream changed around like you said? Well, the boy and I, we had an amazing heart to heart and I got to be completely honest with him about everything that’s been going on, and my feelings and all that crap, y’know? He’s such a bright kid, he understood everything I said and let me know how he was feeling about everything too, I could hardly believe he’s only eight! Well I feel like we’re best friends now, not just family, what’s family huh? Having sex with each other was just about the last good turn my parents ever done me. So anyway, enough already, I came home and did your visualisations all evening until I fell asleep and I woke up this morning feeling great. There’s only one thing that’s still driving me crazy. What did all that stuff in the dream mean, and why all these pictures? You gotta tell me what you done Doc, you gotta tell me what it all means?”
The analyst took the liberty of a long pause to stroke his beard.
“Well…” he laboured, “To be honest I didn’t really do any of the work. You interpreted the dream for me yourself. You see, the tiny pot of gold represented your attitude towards money. You just couldn’t ever see there being enough of it. So I got you to imagine an abundance of gold. Then you saw two separate pieces of string, and I figured it matched your whole outlook on your marriage. So I simply got you to braid them together into a long enduring tie that stretched out into the future with three strands: one for you, one for your wife, and one for your son. Next you told me how worried you were about your business: you saw one thumb up and one thumb down. You couldn’t see your clients agreeing on deals, so I got you to replace the picture with a handshake to make closing deal possible in your minds eye. Then there was the broken stick. I don’t think we need to say anything about this broken stick, Freud would have a field day. The really rather pathetic olive branch in your dream represented your health, so I got you to replace it with a vibrant tree, and finally that left the old, discarded baseball bat and ball. You wanted to invest more in your relationship with your son, so I got you to visualise a whole baseball field complete with a spirited game in progress. So, my fine analysand. What do you think?”
“Doc,” the client responded with a sardonic smile befitting an analysand, “What a load of old baloney! I think you oughtta see a shrink!”
With that he left the office and the therapist never heard from him again.
(c) Antony Sammeroff, 21/07/12
